life just feels like it's passing me by and there's nothing i can do about it.
(photo bomb of my little man. it's been 2 years since i gave birth to my 9lbs 7oz baby boy and i feel like we haven't done much with that time but what we have done is grew. :) and he's learned so much in that time. i just wanted to share. :)))
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| my beautiful boy just a few hours old. |
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| just days old, his first time out of the hospital (daddy was showing him off.) |
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| sleeping boy a few days old. |
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| Joshua playing in his bedroom (CO) |
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| my big one year old boy (taken in Florida) |
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| our big man (Colorado) |
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| never too old for naps (days before his 2nd birthday) |
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| sitting up like the big boy he is. |
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| daddy and Josher butt playing with Joshua's new birthday toy. |
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| singing happy birthday to himself! |
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| eating his birthday cup cake. |
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| :) not sure what's he's doing here. lol. |
my adorable little boy just turned 2. can you believe it!? 2 year old. god i remember the day i found out i was pregnant with him. Ben and i still don't understand where the time has gone or how he grew up so much without us even really noticing. he's so smart and handsome and such a sweetheart.
but this still isn't telling you what's the matter with me. or why for the past tow months i've wanted to un-friend every girl on my facebook that is excitedly welcoming a baby into the world, or even worse, those few that are totally freaking out because they don't want the baby that they're having.
yeah, you got it now, right? it's the baby fever that i've had since Joshua was like less than a month old. it's killing me. i had Josher butt way early compared to my friends. i felt out of place while i was pregnant with him, totally in love with the idea but very much out of place. and now that everyone is having a baby, well i want it to be my turn again. Ben and i are in a good place, hell a great place right now. we're happy in Colorado for the time being and we're even saving the money we know needs to be set aside. i've gone back to school, getting my diploma this year, and i know i need to focus on that. but i feel like i'm missing out. i was so busy and so over whelmed with Joshua's pregnancy that i feel like i missed everything. i know that's not a good reason for wanting another baby but it's the only thing that keeps playing in my head.
Ben says that we'll talk about it after i graduate but i just feel like that's too long....i don't know. i cry every time i hear a birth story now, i'm supposed to be happy for these friends and family of mine but i can't help but wish it was me.
is there something wrong with me?
i don't know. all i know is i can't wait until it's my turn again. in the mean time i'm loving growing and learning with my little man. :))
and always praying and planning for baby LA or baby AE Colburn! :)
oh but we did celebrate Joshua's birthday, as you can see by the pictures. :) it was a blast. i'm sure he doesn't remember that we had a big birthday party for him last year with friends and family before we moved to Florida. but this year we were sure to make it special for him, even though he did have to spend the day with just mommy and daddy, like always. we don't really have any friends here so we spent the day just the three of us and opened presents, went shopping and had chicken on the grill (one of Josh's favorites) and of course red velvet birthday cup cakes. :)
i still can't believe that's two. it amazes me how fast the time has gone. you know when he was little i used to wish that he'd do something, lol. like smile or coo or just cuddle. and now, wow. i get hugs and kisses and i even get answers to the questions i ask him. :) he's still not really talking but he does get what he telling us across, most the the time. :P
he's an amazing little man and i didn't expect any less. but i am the mommy, who doesn't think they're babies are the greatest? :))
well anyway. he's gone to bed almost an hour ago now and this mommy has class in the morning. :) i'm putting my blog on my schedule for the week and i'm going to keep it updated....for real this time. :P i have to get back in the habit of pictures too. i slacked bad there for a while but not for long. :)
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